Support the "No Evidence Left Behind Act"

Dear Mr. President. We all know how rough it is, being the leader of the most powerful nation in the world, with all the lies and deceptions your job demands. It takes time to concoct tales of WMDs and deadly threats when you want to invade a country. It's grueling to perfect the right mix of smirk and shrug while saying "Who knew" every time someone calls you a murderer, and blames you for the thousands who died and tens of thousands more who lost their homes after Hurricane Katrina. We understand how difficult it is when annoying things like evidence and cold hard facts surface to contradict whatever story you have come up with to get over. You have brilliantly created legal justifications for your right to imprison and torture at will, and to spy on the private and personal conversations and e-mails of millions of people. And we realize that at such a time, refusing to let people know what's in your e-mails could appear to be a bit, shall we say, hypocritical. But we fully understand your concerns about the potential harm if documents are made public linking criminal neglect by our government to the deaths and suffering of thousands. That's why we are urging our representatives to pass the "No Evidence Left Behind" Act. Never again will you have to answer a probing question, respond to an inquiry, or even pretend to tell the truth. With NELBA, no one will ever be able to accuse you of stonewalling an investigation, obstructing justice, or covering up crimes. Deception will become a snap and lies will never be easier!