Attn: comics... anyone out there with the edge, honesty, and guts to call out Obama?!
May 30, 2016 | Revolution Newspaper | revcom.us
A call to comedians out there who have REAL attitude, edge, honesty, and guts, who don’t just talk about “keeping it 100” but are really willing to call out Obama. The comedy team of Key & Peele do Obama’s Anger Translator in a way that sucks up to the world’s most powerful war criminal. But how about somebody doing an Obama REALITY translator? That might go something like this on Obama’s speech at Hiroshima:
Obama: “Seventy-one years ago, on a bright cloudless morning, death fell from the sky and the world was changed.”
Obama Reality Translator: Drop out of the sky? Oh, hell no! WE dropped that bomb on 100,000 innocent people. Burned them to death. It might have been the worst terrorist crime in one day in human history. But you know what? Three days later we DID IT AGAIN.
Obama: “A flash of light and a wall of fire destroyed a city and demonstrated that mankind possessed the means to destroy itself.”
Obama Reality Translator: No, that wasn’t “mankind” doing shit. That was US—the United States of AMERICA—sending a message that WE could destroy mankind.
Obama: “And since that fateful day, we have made choices that give us hope.... Oppressed people and nations won liberation.”
Obama Reality Translator: After Hiroshima it was OUR turn to plunder and exploit those oppressed people. We invaded, bombed, massacred, dropped napalm that set people on fire, and tortured to try to crush liberation struggles. I’m not exaggerating: we killed millions of people in Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos. In Indonesia we orchestrated the massacre of a million communists and others that choked the rivers with corpses. We overthrew governments from Iran to Congo to Guatemala. We set up and bankrolled Israel in the Middle East to carry out our bidding there. Everywhere we went we installed torturers and tyrants. But they were OUR torturers and tyrants.
Obama: “[A]mong those nations like my own that hold nuclear stockpiles, we must have the courage to escape the logic of fear and pursue a world without them. ... We can chart a course that leads to the destruction of these stockpiles.”
Obama Reality Translator: George W. Bush—that warmongering worshipper of the “NUKULAR” bomb, as he loved to mispronounce it, actually got rid of more nuclear weapons than I did. Hell, I ordered a $1 trillion expansion and modernization of the U.S. nuclear arsenal! “Environmental president”? Please! Call me the NUKULAR president, muthafucka.
Obama: “We must change our mind-set about war itself. To prevent conflict through diplomacy and strive to end conflicts after they’ve begun. To see our growing interdependence as a cause for peaceful cooperation and not violent competition.”
Obama Reality Translator: You believe that, I got a battleship to sell you. I’m over here right now lining up and tightening up military allies to encircle and threaten China. I’m busy egging on Japan’s reactionary new prime minister to pump up military spending. Plus, I’m working on naval bases in Vietnam and the Philippines. Now THAT is what I call “peaceful cooperation.”
Obama: “My own nation’s story began with simple words: All men are created equal and endowed by our creator with certain unalienable rights including life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”
Obama Reality Translator: My own nation’s story began with simple words: GENOCIDE and SLAVERY. Yeah, I like to talk that other stuff, but without killing off the Native American peoples who lived here and enslaving millions of Africans for over 250 years, U.S. imperialism wouldn't be shit.
Obama: “That is why we come to Hiroshima. So that we might think of people we love. The first smile from our children in the morning. The gentle touch from a spouse over the kitchen table. The comforting embrace of a parent.”
Obama Reality Translator: Yeah, until we dropped the atomic bomb on them. Then a blazing, million-degree fireball instantly killed, burned alive, or vaporized tens of thousands of them. We left red-burned and bloated dead bodies piled up high. We turned those smiling children and loving spouses into corpses with their guts and eyes popped out. Oh, and by the way, our whole American Way of Life and a whole empire we call “bringing democracy to the world” was built with that crime.
And MY country is not only the only nation to use nukes, we threatened to use them again. Oh, yes—we did that well after the effects of these weapons were known and the risks of thermonuclear holocaust involving at minimum tens and hundreds of millions of people were in the balance. Hell, we even developed a strategy to win the Cold War against the Soviet Union by building what we called “first-strike” capability—the ability to use nukes FIRST, blow up tens of millions,and cripple the ability of the Soviets to respond. My man—Ronald Reagan—for whom I have often expressed respect and admiration—was all gung-ho for that—used to JOKE about blowing up Russia!
You expect me to apologize for that? As long as there is a United States of America, that will never happen. Not on my watch!
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